A time for balance and reflection

I love the autumnal equinox, and the new moon that follows it.

As summer winds down and the days come into balance, I always feel as though the universe is inviting me to spend a few days in inner reflection, creating a space of stillness in which I get to consider what in my life is out of balance and what is important to me as I carry on into the darkening time of year—is there anything that I need to put down?

It’s a powerful topic, if I let it be, and this year there is much to weigh. 

I really like what I do, and while this is great (and new!) it’s also an attachment, a thing that pulls at me and into which I lean. I don’t want to change that, but I want to make sure that I have some equilibrium and a sure footing. One doesn’t go up a boulder without understanding that gravity is dispassionately heartless and will dash any of us down to the ground, showing us the error of our ways.

Over the last several years, I’ve prioritized my relationship with my daughter, and this has taken root. This is wonderful, and I’m glad to see it. New growth in our relationship in the last year opened new paths, and this too tugs at me, and is something into which I am leaning. 

Attachment is beautiful, magical, and difficult, possibly even dangerous. There’s a reason Buddhist believe attachment out of balance is at the root of all suffering. Being in relationship with mindfulness and compassion allows for expansiveness, in our relationships and for the whole world. Consider the nature of the corruption of the One Ring in Lord of the Rings: the idea of possession is embodied in the object, becoming obsessive to the point of corruption. We do not possess things, they possess us. Our jobs, our relationships with others, these are not possessions and cannot be controlled. Love is a wild magic.

While I’m not ready to go join the forest monks just yet, I also want to hold my attachments in a way that is nurturing for everyone involved, with elasticity and compassion. 

This is a matter of faith, ultimately: 

• I have faith in the work I do, that any changes or challenges can be met with competence, dignity, and grace. 
• I have faith in the people I’m in relationship with, that growth will only deepen our bonds and honor myself as well as each other. 
• I have faith in the universe, that the universe loves me and wants me to be happy, and that all pieces of the journey are helpful. As the details shift in the ten thousand things that make up my day-to-day life—as they always will—this is the central truth.

Stay tuned. 

Poldark, Season 3

I confess: I love Poldark. It's my kind of period drama, complete with a Plutonic hero who has actual mines that need reviving. And upstart maids and smuggling and class wars and rivalry. Harvey and i are glued to Masterpiece Theatre's latest, and I think it's far more interesting than Downton Abbey, though I know it's considered heresy to say so. We're booked on Monday evenings for a bit.

God, I love October.

Economic Consideration

Unemployment: Even the worst estimate (260,000) missed today's reported job losses. The rise of unemployment to 9.8% was expected, marking the 21st increase in the the employment rate. September’s losses bring total jobs lost since the recession began in December 2007 to 7.6 million, making the total number of unemployed 15.1 million. No one sees anything positive happening on the labor front for over a year, and even optimists are predicting ten percent unemployment by the end of the year and near that level throughout 2010, even if the economy were to start growing overnight. Once shown as the evidence that this recession was not a Depression, the unemployment rate has seemed entrenched, persisting and even growing despite positive trends in other areas such as residential real estate and overall home prices. Today’s labor report also showed the average work week shrank to 33 hours in September, matching a record low, from 33.1 hours in the prior month. Average weekly hours worked by production workers dipped to 39.8 hours from 39.9 hours, while overtime decreased to 2.8 hours from 2.9 hours. That brought the average weekly earnings to $616.11 from $617.65. Banks: The banking industry saw a surprise move by Bank of America's CEO Kenneth Lewis resigning without a successor in place. Add to this the reality that we aren't nearly done unwinding the financial mess, and the future isn't looking so bright for banks. The three mega-banks now hold an estimated 10 percent of all deposits, and we haven't seen the impact of commercial real estate yet. On the banking front, CIT Group Inc launched on Thursday a debt-exchange plan to prevent it from filing for bankruptcy. CIT also asked bondholders to approve a prepackaged plan of reorganization that would allow it to initiate a voluntary filing under Chapter 11 if the debt exchange failed. CIT lends primarily to small and mid-sized companies, and its failure could be seen as the Indy Mac of commercial lending. If CIT Group averts a bankruptcy filing by exchanging its debt, the U.S. government could lose nearly 80 percent of its $2.33 billion investment in the troubled commercial lender. Auto Industry: The end of the government's popular Cash for Clunkers program and low inventories of vehicles led to a 40 percent plunge in U.S. auto sales in September compared with August, although year-over-year declines were more modest and generally in line with forecasts. Overall industry sales came in at 745,997 vehicles in September according to sales tracker Autodata, down 23 percent from a year ago. That makes it the worst month since February in what has been a terrible year for auto sales, even with the four-week lift the industry received from the Clunkers program. The one major automaker to post improved sales in September was Korea's Hyundai, which reported a 27 percent gain from a year ago. Still, Hyundai's sales were 48 percent lower than August's levels. Chrysler's sales plunged 42 percent from a year ago, and 33 percent from August. Chrysler, with a heavier reliance on trucks than other automakers, did not get as much of a sales lift from the Clunkers program. But Edmunds.com had expected an even worse year-over-year drop of 48 percent. General Motors Co. said it will close the Saturn brand after Penske Automotive Group Inc. broke off discussions to buy the unit. Saturn dealers will have until October 2010 to wind down operations, affecting 13,000 jobs and 350 dealerships. "We believe the remainder of 2009 will continue to be a challenge for the U.S. automotive market," said Peter Fong, the lead sales executive for the Chrysler Group in a statement. "Credit markets have thawed slightly, but still remain tight, and consumer confidence, as we saw in September, is tenuous." Consumer Spending: Hold onto your seats and hats, because all but one (Obama's approval rating) of gallup's daily indicators went into negative territory yesterday. The big news in this is that consumer spending seems to have a new normal in the mid-sixty range, not good news for the long term health of a consumer-driven economy. This new normal is persitant, even though consumer confidence hit a 21-month high last week. Market: The DOW shed over 200 points yesterday, and today's labor numbers only made the news seem worse. Add to that the report by the IMF that even more money might be needed from cash-strapped countries, and it doesn't seem an end to this recession is in sight.