Be Here Now

In the waning days of December, I find myself looking at the new calendar as a new leaf, as so many of us do, wondering what I can make of the coming 365 days, and what the world will make of my plans along the way. In this, January has a feeling of beginning, of commencement, and it's no accident that I find myself drawn to graduation speeches as I walk the weird week between Christmas Day and New Year's Eve.

"Be here now" is the oft-cited directive of philosophers of all stripes: Morpheus, Yoda, Ghandi, Jimi Hendrix.

 

But, as my writing student put it in her work yesterday, Mindfulness is hard. Or as another philosopher mentioned in one of my favorite commencement speeches:

"It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in and day out. Which means yet another grand cliché turns out to be true: your education really is the job of a lifetime. And it commences: now. I wish you way more than luck."
----This is Water, David Foster Wallace 

I'm reminded of another quote, a bit in a movie that I love, Playing By Heart. Jolie's character is talking about love, and she says that she has this friend, a musician, who says that "talking about love is like dancing about architecture," a spin on a quote from Frank Zappa or possibly from Declan Patrick Aloysius MacManus (Elvis Costello to you and me) despite his often denying it, or maybe from Martin Mull (philosophers, all). 

But Jolie's character (Joan in the film) goes just a step further, and this is what makes it all more than merely witty for me. She says "Talking about love might be like dancing about architecture, but that's not going to stop me from trying." 

 

Be here now. 

Mindfulness is hard. 

But that's not going to stop me from trying. 

Challenge 33: Nourish

Nourishing Mind, Body and Soul

Mind 

Classwork (this is in bold because it's a focus point for the challenge, a point where when things get into conflict -- and they always do at some point, because that's life for you -- I can touch back to what is central) 

I'm enrolled in an independent study and an online class this term. At this point, I only have the papers left, but that's a huge piece (in the case of the independent study, it's the only piece.)

• Posting on Tuesday for the Comparative Urbanism Class
• Paper 1 for Comparative Urbanism
• Paper 2 for Comparative Urbanism
• Paper for Identity, Politics and Power in the 20th Century 

Body

Nightly sleep 

I need to take care of myself by making certain I'm getting enough rest. If I'm worn out and exhausted, I can't be a good student / parent / friend. I need to be in bed no later than 9 p.m. I am hoping the meditation routine will dovetail with this.

Nightly Floss Routine - this only takes seconds, so it's not as though it is really hard or anything. I have floss and coconut oil  for oil pulling next to the toothpaste now, so it's kind of inevitable.

Soul 

Daily mindfulness

Daily quiet time

Nightly Meditation and reading of Faith & Practice

Weekly meetings & Connections

• Women's Meeting Monday
• Home Group Meeting Tuesday
• Letters Wednesday
• Therapy Thursday
• Sponsor Meeting Friday
• Home Group Meeting Saturday
• Friends Meeting Sunday 
• Radio Interview / Essay weekly

Bonus:

Financial Planning with the attorney

Financial worry is soul-crushing. I recently read a report on the effects of poverty sapping nearly an entire standard deviation from a person's intelligence, and I can completely believe that. The mental peace that will come from financial clarity is huge.

Also, a weekly budget meeting with my partner -- Sunday

Climate Change and Your Health

There's a new study going around, analyzing how climate change will affect health issues. Please note that every sector of the country has the icon indicating an impact to the mental health and well being of residents. Every single American is going to face increased pressure to their mental health and well being as a direct result of climate change. It's too late to do anything about the Boomer impact on the environment, but it's a great time to start developing your mental health tool kit. The good news is that a lot of what we can do to become more resilient is absolutely free and easy:

• Meditate
• Practice Mindfulness
• Start a gratitude journal
• Simplify

You'll be happy you did.

How to Escape Being a Victim of Time & Truly Live in the Present Moment

This comes from Alfred James, of Pocket Mindfulness, and is a good reminder of how to reset our perspectives and attitudes as we embark on a fresh New Year.

The easiest way to explain living in the present is to start by explaining what it means to not be present, since this is the state we have become habitually used to.When you aren’t being present you become a victim of time. Your mind is pulled into the past or the future, or both.
Your thoughts are of the past: what has been, what could have been, what you thought happened vs. what actually did happen. Or, your thoughts are of the future: what will be, what could be, what might be, if…

Of course, it’s natural to spend moments of thought in the past or in daydreams of the future. Identifying impending dangers through associations with things that have happened in the past is important for self-preservation. But when our lives become dictated by thoughts and emotions attached to past events and potential future outcomes, standing peacefully rooted in the present becomes increasingly rare.

Our routine, our habit, is to be off in our heads somewhere mulling over negativity and struggles of the past, or becoming anxious and fearful of the future. Seldom are we fully “here”; neutrally centered to see through life’s lens with clarity and naked awareness – a state that assists us in finding contentment and understanding in ourselves.

Habits quickly become the norm and, as we know from many of life’s other vices, just because we’re used to doing something regularly doesn’t mean it is good for us, or the right way to live.
An easy way to break this habit of being a victim of time is to identify time for what it is. Time is a human concept. The watch on your wrist and the clock on the wall mean nothing to Mother Nature. To her, life is one evolving moment – a perpetual cycle of interdependent impermanence. Time is a metric we use as a reference point for organising our lives and documenting history. It doesn’t actually exist. Really, it doesn’t. Ask a scientist.

Time is an illusion, which makes being controlled by time somewhat delusional. The past doesn’t exist and neither does the future. The only true reference point we have to this moment in time, and to this thing we label “existence”, is a feeling of presence, of being here in this body, of seeing the world through these eyes.

This is all that can exist, because this is what you feel right now. You can’t feel the past or the future, but you can feel what it feels like to touch something right now, to see something, to hear something.
The concept of time deludes us into concerning ourselves with its passing and impending arrival. This stops us enjoying this “presence” we feel. We are duped into remaining in one of two states: The first, one of dwelling in the past and mulling over what has happened. The second, one of waiting and constantly anticipating what is to come, if and when…

For example:
– How often do you enjoy your work? Or are you too busy thinking about getting it finished by the deadline to give yourself a chance to enjoy it?
– Are you so stressed out trying to do your best work to impress your boss that you prevent yourself being able to perform at your highest potential anyway?
– Are you so distracted by thoughts of Monday morning that you spoil the time spent with your children on the weekend?
– Are you so caught up in regrets of the past that you prevent opportunity blossoming in the present?
– Are the opinions of others, formed through actions you took in the past, stopping you being who you (are) want to be in the present?

We are all unavoidably victims of time to some degree, because it has become the accepted state of norm in our fast-paced, highly motivated and highly-strung society. And for this reason it is important that we understand that to not be present is to be torn between two worlds, the past and the future, neither of which exist. To constantly reside in this state prevents us enjoying life and finding happiness.

If you allow yourself to be a victim of time – a victim of the past and a slave to a future that is yet to unravel – you will carry with you a sense of unease. You will be susceptible to stress, agitation and feel generally uncomfortable in life.

There is no redemption to be found in time.
So surrender to what is right now.
Wherever you are, commit to being there, completely. Life will take care of the rest.

Mindful Walking

You Can Do It

Walking meditation is practicing meditation while walking. It can bring you joy and peace while you practice it. Take short steps in complete relaxation; go slowly with a smile on your lips, with your heart open to an experience of peace. You can feel truly at ease with yourself. Your steps can be those of the healthiest, most secure person on earth. All sorrows and worries can drop away while you are walking. To have peace of mind, to attain self-liberation, learn to walk in this way. It is not difficult. You can do it. Anyone can do it who has some degree of mindfulness and a true intention to be happy.

Going Without Arriving

In our daily lives, we usually feel pressured to move ahead. We have to hurry. We seldom ask ourselves where it is that we must hurry to. When you practice walking meditation, you go for a stroll. You have no purpose or direction in space or time. The purpose of walking meditation is walking meditation itself. Going is important, not arriving. Walking meditation is not a means to an end; it is an end. Each step is life; each step is peace and joy. That is why we don’t have to hurry. That is why we slow down. We seem to move forward, but we don’t go anywhere; we are not drawn by a goal. Thus we smile while we are walking.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

~ o h m ~

I'm really looking forward to picking up yoga in the park again. With all the scheduling changes, it got dropped, but it's long overdue to add it back in, and Friday morning hasn't been the same since I stopped going. I know that it was because Vivian wasn't with me, but I'm looking forward to including her in the Monday evening offering. She has missed it and Bonny has missed having her in class.

I know I wouldn't be able to fit in the health and wellness pieces of my routine if I didn't have such great support from my partner. It really is all about balance.

Convergence

A lot of different, seemingly disparate things are coming together for me. Water scarcity. Vivian's educational needs. Food security. Mindfulness as a life, not as a ten minute practice, dreams of being shot at and worse.

Stay tuned.

Nothing

The Boomers tore down the societal structures of their times and left Gen X with Nothing in its place.

Having Nothing to lose, we created an interconnected, streaming digital age from thin air.

The Internet Age gave rise to the internet of Things, and we weren't interested in Things in the first place. Millennials continue to integrate their Things through their phones, which aren't really phones any more so much as they are command centers. Faced with paper and a pen, this generation born into an on-demand, share-everything world freaks out a bit. They continue to blend their technology to ever-increasing levels of seamlessness, a world without edges or boundaries, defined more by the platform used than any other single demographic.

Gen X is in the business of rejecting this new identity structure, because we don't think our identities should be structured. We want work-life balance to have more quality in work and life, and more autonomy in both. We don't want our movies to share our watching habits automatically to the Cloud, the Stream, the Wall. We like our streams to be silent and private affairs, places where we can be still enough to hear the movement.

While the Millennials are making money and vaulting up the ladder of success, Gen X is still looking at the ladder and wondering where it all goes, walking away. We are still as savvy, self-reliant and skeptical as we were when AIDS hit the airwaves the week after we watched "The Day After" and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Nothing is too good for us (it was created by the Boomers, after all), but we want it back anyway.

The Road Thus Far: Chrysalis

Good grief. What happened to me this Spring?

On March 1, I started a random bit of self-imposed homework and the next thing you know, my life looks truly different. I’m not saying that a lot of this wasn’t already in the works, or something I wanted to do and had thought about pursuing before, but I’ve never had so much consistent positive forward motion, despite the resistance that threatened to bog me down. If I’m really honest, the path started in December when I met a mortgage agent who said he was willing to work with me if I was willing to do the work required. Boy, I bet he had no idea what he was about to unleash; for that matter, I had no idea that I could accomplish all that I have. But here’s the important part: it’s not about what I accomplished, but how those small accomplishments have impacted my self image and how I feel.

It seems that once I got my feet under me and shook off the winter, I put in place a gradual-but-undeniable (some might even use the term relentless) path of improvement. For all that the list below looks a little intimidating, it wasn't really very hard at all. I just made up my mind and did it. The secret was that I didn’t look at the big picture while I was working – I just looked at the single step I was taking. I wasn't on a death march, by any means. In fact, it was pretty gradual, starting from a "Hey, do you want to . . . ?" conversation in each and every case. I surrounded myself with people who were supportive and positive, and cut out the people who weren't. The results are more than impressive; they are awesome.

• I signed up for Six Sigma Certification classes in April, and they started in May. I completed the Green Belt certification at the end of June. I feel credible.
  
• I started Pilates on May 20. Seven weeks and five classes later, I'm in love with it. I look and feel better than ever, and the two weeks I was without my Sunday ritual I felt spiritually depleted. It has become my church service, and The Girls have become my spiritual community. I feel connected.
• I went rock climbing for the first time in my life on May 5. I have since been once more, and I'm looking forward to incorporating it into my regular life. I feel strong and capable.
• I purged clothes that don't fit and stuff I don't use. I feel lighter.
• In July, I paid off my final old medical bill and my credit is officially rehabilitated. My credit rating has climbed from laughable to serious, and I am in charge of my financial reality in a way I have never been in my life. I feel responsible.
• I got prequalified for a mortgage and I am working with an amazing realtor to find a house I like that I can afford in the neighborhood I love. I feel enfranchised.

And it's still going on:

• I began classes for Lean Six Sigma this week. It’s another level up from the Green Belt, and at times, just as before, I’m lost and have to go back through the lecture a second time. I’m dedicated, though.
• I am considering an outdoor climbing camp. Real rocks. Real high in the air. Kind of intimidating. Can't wait. (The only reason I'm not already signed up is because I'm waiting to see how much I need to put down on the house.)

And here's the best part: It was worth it every step of the way, even when it wasn't fun. I was scared or overwhelmed (or both) at each endeavor. Honest, there were even times that I thought I simply wasn't going to be able to do it -- I was going to fail. In so many ways this looming failure was liberating: it freed me not to worry about my success and to focus instead on the process. And here it is.

Right after we moved out of the farm, my sons bought me a mug that I simply adore. It's heidi-blue, and in white letters it reads Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she turned into a butterfly.

P.S. Just as I was putting the finishing touches on this The Year Thus Far analysis, my friend posted a quote on her blog. I can’t think of a better way to wrap this up, so here it is:

This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy. ~Susan Polis Schutz