Sunday, October 2, 2022

A time for balance and reflection

I love the autumnal equinox, and the new moon that follows it.

As summer winds down and the days come into balance, I always feel as though the universe is inviting me to spend a few days in inner reflection, creating a space of stillness in which I get to consider what in my life is out of balance and what is important to me as I carry on into the darkening time of year—is there anything that I need to put down?

It’s a powerful topic, if I let it be, and this year there is much to weigh. 

I really like what I do, and while this is great (and new!) it’s also an attachment, a thing that pulls at me and into which I lean. I don’t want to change that, but I want to make sure that I have some equilibrium and a sure footing. One doesn’t go up a boulder without understanding that gravity is dispassionately heartless and will dash any of us down to the ground, showing us the error of our ways.

Over the last several years, I’ve prioritized my relationship with my daughter, and this has taken root. This is wonderful, and I’m glad to see it. New growth in our relationship in the last year opened new paths, and this too tugs at me, and is something into which I am leaning. 

Attachment is beautiful, magical, and difficult, possibly even dangerous. There’s a reason Buddhist believe attachment out of balance is at the root of all suffering. Being in relationship with mindfulness and compassion allows for expansiveness, in our relationships and for the whole world. Consider the nature of the corruption of the One Ring in Lord of the Rings: the idea of possession is embodied in the object, becoming obsessive to the point of corruption. We do not possess things, they possess us. Our jobs, our relationships with others, these are not possessions and cannot be controlled. Love is a wild magic.

While I’m not ready to go join the forest monks just yet, I also want to hold my attachments in a way that is nurturing for everyone involved, with elasticity and compassion. 

This is a matter of faith, ultimately: 
  • I have faith in the work I do, that any changes or challenges can be met with competence, dignity, and grace. 
  • I have faith in the people I’m in relationship with, that growth will only deepen our bonds and honor myself as well as each other. 
  • I have faith in the universe, that the universe loves me and wants me to be happy, and that all pieces of the journey are helpful. As the details shift in the ten thousand things that make up my day-to-day life—as they always will—this is the central truth.
Stay tuned.