I love Mubarak Dahir’s essay “Nobody Likes a Nelly Homo.” As I started reading it, several things hit me at once, not the least of which was “what the heck does nelly mean?” But by the end I was convinced, yet again that I had discovered another ally in this tumultuous sea of society, the one we are all struggling in, just trying to keep our heads above the emotional tides that often threaten to swamp us, treading against the undertow that lurks silent and invisible beneath us, ready and willing to suck us under and do us in.
Apparently, nelly refers to a very feminine homosexual man, and the term came into popular use by season three of "Arrested Development," where George Senior and Lucille Bluth refer to the seemingly homosexual Tobias as a "nelly." Can be used as either a noun or adjective, but it is almost always pejorative.
And then something beautiful happened: Dahir reveled in the outsider. He said how beautiful it was to watch someone knowingly step over the line and do it with style, with joy, with verve. After spending several paragraphs showing us that pointing and laughing seems to be hard-wired into human DNA as a means to bolster our positions of group inclusion, Dahir holds the gold lame wearing nelly queen in reverence but without the distance that is created with awe.
He finds value outside his own expression and relationship with the world. Ultimately, it is the variety of experience that he comes to value the most, the true diversity of it all. And isn’t that really the measure of our dedication to freedom: our willingness to appreciate and even defend that which offends us, or that we disagree with, but that ultimately causes no harm? Well done, Dahir. And thanks.
I found many definitions, but my favorite one was at urban dictionary: Nelly Sweet, beautiful girl, very intelligent and creative. Though very stubb[o]urn and often pessimistic. More of a leader th[a]n follower. Often not one of the most popular girls around, but does have a group of friends. You would be very lucky to have a Nelly in your life. W[h]ether a friend or lover. Nelly's often switch back and forth from the dark and light side. They will get evil if pushed to it, but will be an angel if treated right. And often act before thinking.
