Showing posts with label self-improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-improvement. Show all posts

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Music makes people happy

Vivian seems to be more inclined to practice and to have better results when she practices with someone. So I now have a violin and am working on relearning everything. I was astonished to find that my fingers remembered "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" without consulting my mind. The finger placement needs work (I tend toward flat), but the skill is still there.

For now, I'm working on the fingering and establishing the daily habit. Just as with meditation or exercise, ten minutes a day is so much better than an hour once a week.  My formal lessons begin after Bryan and family get back from vacation in mid-July. I'm working on a piece to surprise him with. It will take at least a month to have it smoothened out.

Anyone know a lutist? Vivian and I will be working on getting our Minister of the List credentials in order. And I suppose this means we will need garb, again, too.







Thursday, April 13, 2017

Change Agents and the City

While reading the articles for this week, I was struck by how the Apartheid City structure reflects Roanoke’s geographic and zoning de facto barriers that have been used for voluntary and involuntary racism and spatial clustering. Roanoke’s development continues to take into account and cater to the Creative Class and the Young Urban Professional -- while these are not exclusively Caucasian or any race or even nationality in particular, the Carilion Cadence is the beat of this city’s heart more often than not. To date, that has involved development for the attraction of well-educated medical and creative staff, many of them young, able bodied, and childless, more interested in running the greenway near the pub and shopping a farmer’s market near the loft building than addressing needs of native residents’ lack of access to transportation, food, or equal educational offerings.

To be physically separated is demoralizing; it is a public stamp of approval of different social realities for different folks, of non-belonging and of exclusion. The conditions of exclusion were deemed so offensive and antithetic to the ideals of the United States that they were deemed unconstitutional by the Supreme Court in 1954 when the Brown vs. the Board of Education case resulted in the ruling that “separate but equal is not equal.” Certainly such stratification and the systemic neglect and violence that go with it seem in direct conflict with the United Nations’ call for “A dignified and secure existence in cities.”

Anderson writes that “Simply living in such an environment places young people at special risk of falling victim to aggressive behavior.” When we look at the decisions made by Roanoke and so many others cities all over the country, the efforts to revitalize urban spaces seems fraught with tension, especially as urban planners work with politicians and existing businesses to ensure the best economic reality while achieving an orderly and aesthetically pleasing design. the problem seems to lie in the idea that the revitalization is appealing and accessible to everyone equally.

Right now gay is hip, so we are happy to have a Gay Pride parade and Pride in the Park festival. Cities are scrambling to follow Roanoke’s example of celebrated inclusion: we happily have festivals for any culture -- Greek, Lebanese and Local Colors are just a few that come to mind. It’s estimated that Roanoke’s population is growing by one thousand residents a year, many of these newcomers attracted by the open and active image that Roanoke has.

But much of the separateness is still ignored by Roanoke, and we are developing two very different Roanokes indeed, one a poster for inclusion and happiness for mostly-young, moneyed, and able-bodied residents in the south and another for those who support the former -- the disenfranchised, mostly (but far from exclusively) African-American who live in the north.

Folkways bump into and often trump mores all the time, but it’s never more apparent than during interactions at the physical and societal edges of public space, where the spaces are inadequate to hold all our various realities simultaneously, and the differences in our individual expectations for behaviors and consequences becomes manifest. When north meets south in Roanoke, the expectations of behavior, language, dress and redress are evident and ultimately no one feels familiar or comfortable. Oppositional cultures seem at times merely one more part of a social system that is deeply stratified -- unified by twitter feeds and facebook groups and how we consume the stream of information from our social networks. The narratives of these networks can be, and often is, dramatically different at any given time. While Twitter might be flooded with the antics on the senate floor or the big reveal in a netflix show, the same timeline of facebook might be wholly taken up with sports plays or the social issue of welfare and the minimum wage.

As Roanoke reclaims and reinvents space -- from previous industrial sites such as along Salem Avenue to undeveloped sites such as Brandon swamp -- to create gathering, activity and residential space, folkways and our internal programming are ruling our interactions more than ever. I am hopeful that Roanoke will slow down development long enough to start listening to matters of justice as well as matters of paint colors and housing needs and development opportunities. It’s time that we look to other, at times informal ways in which urban problems of inequality and injustice are being dealt with effectively. Not to do so is to actively invite these issues to be addressed informally in ways that have proven not only ineffective, but downright toxic for those they serve.

More than anything, the readings show that availability and quality of services makes a huge difference in residents’ quality of life and peace of mind, the very qualities that Anderson highlights as lacking in the streets, forcing street residents to develop, adopt and enforce a behavioral code to address the feeling o of “alienation from mainstream society and its institutions.” This combines with a “profound” lack of faith to create a pervasive context of hopelessness, the lesser of “two contrasting conceptual categories” whose pressures and consequences extend far beyond geographic borders and economic boundaries. In this reality, one can count solely on oneself and one’s own resources of spirit and attitude, and “physical prowess takes on great significance.” In his analysis, Anderson finds “hopelessness and alienation . . . fuels the violence” that so many cities experience.

In a curious twist of events, surveillance has proven a powerful ally in effecting social change in the last decade. The United States culturally rejects state-sponsored surveillance out of hand, decrying an inalienable right to privacy (while demanding that apple, amazon, facebook, and every other tech giant in the land hand over all data and the codes to hack the system). But self-surveillance has become the lifeblood of the twenty-first century equality and social justice movements, and the state has implemented surveillance measures more out of self preservation than of attempts to effect social control. To be caught on camera -- body cam or cell phone -- is to validated and to be accountable. Through this nationwide citizen-level campaign of Observe & Record, we as a culture of the governors and the governed believe we are finally real, that we have a voice, and that we matter. Surveillance is proving to be the real equalizer, whatever Sam Colt might have led us to believe.

The crime and violence is but a symptom, a harsh reality that residents all over the globe know in their bones and are trying to address. When Mexico attempted to let the residents achieve their own solutions, the reality was that power-grabbing and status building led to the same development stratifications and fragmentations as when the politicians were in charge. Having lost sight of their good-natured beginnings, “community organizations in Mexico City serve largely as Low-income real-estate developers.” Money, politics and a system seem to come together to create their own self-sustaining streams of existence, and seem to be far from David Harvey’s vision that we can “change ourselves by changing the city.”

Ultimately, if we are more interested in self-serving aims -- the bolstering of our own social status or the increase in our personal profits -- we are not going to be able to realize the change we want to see. We must genuinely start acting as though everyone is equal and has the same right to the best social services, from libraries to restaurants to sidewalks and schools. Perhaps the message is to change ourselves to change our cities.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Spring Cleaning Tips For Your Mental Health

This article from Bust is so good I am re-posting it. And taking everything to heart, too.

The icy paws of winter have finally released us from their blizzardy clutches! We’re free: running, jumping, tripping over ourselves, eager as f*** to get this whole spring show on the road. Cherry blossoms, sunshine, and a general cheerfulness has started to turn the world new shades of beautiful. It’s going to a party all the time.
But wait! Are we really prepared? You may have cleaned out the closet, purchased a new wardrobe, and finally removed that cobweb dangling in the stairwell, but there is other deep cleaning to do—and it’s all in your mind.

1. Forgive yourself. We want what we want and we want it now. But things usually don’t work out that flawlessly. Chances are you’re an imperfect human and you had some let downs this winter. Can you identify what those less that perfect things were? Are you holding resentments and grudges against yourself? What can you let go of? Remember that you can’t control everything, that constantly berating yourself with insults or insecurities will not allow you to heal or change. Forgive and move forward.
2. Set intentions. What do you want to cultivate this spring? Sit down in a quiet room, take a few deep breaths, and begin to write. Jot down a list of the things that make your heart beat. What things do you love, and desire, what is next for you? And dream big. Best case scenario what would you like to bring into your life this spring? Be specific: Do you intend to get hired as a marketing coordinator for a non-profit that works with women and children abroad, finally learn how to tightrope walk? Being able to literally see your intentions exist outside of you, and on a piece of paper makes them somehow more real—this is the first step.
3. Take things slowly. Ever rocket launch out of bed in the morning and then get lightheaded? Twist an ankle, even? It doesn’t mean you’re clumsy, it means you’re frantic. Remind yourself that nothing happens overnight, unless it’s a pimple. Anything you desire will come to you slowly and subtly. And this is what spring is all about. It is a transition that exists between winter and summer, it is gradual time of shift, it is a time to plant seeds, set roots, and care for ourselves with new found hope and lightness.
4. Make a plan. When the going gets tough, and it will because that's life, what will you do? What self soothing behaviors can you create? What do you often forget to do that you actually love? This can be dancing, seeing friends, reading books, doing your nails, going to workshops, getting to nature... and start now. Don’t wait till you’re at a breaking point. Prevent breaking points by making yourself a well oiled and cared for machine! Preventative care is better than damage control! Make dates with yourself to do these things, put them on you're calendar, make them a priority.
Remember nobody has to live in your mind but you! So make it nice and comfy this spring, stop to smell the roses, and come back to these four mindfulness check in’s when you start to move too quickly!
Images Via Jana Weaver, Mystic Mama, EatBreatheThriveBrooklyn, Amy Jean Porter

Friday, April 7, 2017

Happy Friday

This week flew by!
There were a lot of errands to the financial attorney's office Monday and Tuesday before the hearing on Wednesday afternoon, and then a fire at work needed taking care of so I went back in to the office to deal with that. My therapy appointment has been rescheduled for Thursdays, and it was a very good visit, though super emotional as I start to unpack why this time of year gets under my skin so deeply. Vivian and I had a lot of fun on Thursday, the first day I have been able to pick her up at school, and then went to the gym -- she loves swimming lessons and I had been away from the sauna for too long.

I finally began reading The Gifts of Imperfection and it is so good that I want to buy a boxful to give away to everyone. I checked mine out of the library and I encourage everyone to see if their library has a copy. It is just the most wonderful little book, and I'm looking forward to getting to the Guideposts at the end as well. Brown takes us through getting to the other side of shame -- which we all have and none of us talks about -- to get to love and belonging using courage, compassion and connection every day.

Speaking of books and classes, I had a bit of a panic when the prof posted the assignment for last week three days late -- three days is a big deal in my world. It got smoothed out, and in the process I found out a lot about my vulnerability points and what I count on and think I need. Self-awareness is daunting, and doing the work is actual work, in that it leaves me tired and worn out no less than moving boxes of furniture.

Speaking of moving, the whole of the neighborhood is moving at the end of the school year, or at least those of us who are left after the first wave of moving happened in the fall. It's unnerving and I'm taking a deep breath. Housing insecurity is dicey for me.

This weekend is my birthday, and we are starting the celebrations tonight with a showing of Godspell up at my university. I'm really looking forward to it. Then Saturday we have a few things to do, starting with a second garden party at the Friends Meeting House, then cleaning for the party and then a meeting with the attorney. Sunday is cooking in the morning and meeting friends at the Meeting House, followed by a bit of downtime (for real?? I must be missing something) before we pick up Vivian for the party itself and then folks start arriving. I'm looking forward to it, actually. Side note: I just realized I've no idea when we are scheduling baking the cake. That needs to get figured out.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

A-Muse-ing

A friend of mine has ordered a muse. This news immediately made me think of poor Calliope in the opening of the Sandman series, but then, in what is not likely a turn for the better, my mind linked it up to the (really amazing) "Connected" short.

There are a lot of connections bouncing around in my world.
I think that I would get storminess all the time.