I have always seen myself in partnership with my peer group, and all of us suffering from the definitions and strictures placed upon us by the patriarchy. Granted, I found that details varied by context - race and creed and class were more obvious to me than differences of gender - but I believed we were all in the muck together. I still do. I believe that men can be feminists,and that they must be feminists if there is to be lasting change. Middle class white men, being the standard by which we all are measured, must call for a different scale if there is truly to be something new. The good news is that by changing the definitions together, we can strive for a better, more supportive society for us all, one which is less rigid and more loving.